One of the most important traditions of a maid of honor is to give the bride a toast. Traditionally, a maid of honor toast would be given during the wedding party in the first half and would focus on the bride. Some maids of honor like to be spontaneous and not rehearse anything prior to making the toast while others (the majority) usually bring notes or a prepared speech. Here’s your complete guide to the maid of honor toast – what to say, when to say it, and how to get rid of those nervous butterflies.

Your audience wants you to succeed – Truly, there is no better audience in the world than a wedding reception audience listening to a maid of honor. Everyone really wants to hear what you are going to say and will enjoy it.

Look at your audience. Even if you have trouble looking a stranger in the eye you should at least look around the room for people you recognize. Unlike a teacher who looks at the class to find who isn’t paying attention, a good public speaker looks to see who is enjoying the speech and addresses them.

Go for Short and Sweet. As you prepare your toast, keep it simple. Don’t use words you normally wouldn’t use. Try not to ramble — toasts can be as short as two lines or as long as two minutes. Steer clear of X-rated anecdotes, goofy giggling, and sing-songy, gimmicky group efforts. Remember, this is your moment. Make it a class act.

Being yourself is a lot easier than trying to emulate someone else’s speaking style.

Humility and Humor are always a hit.

Practice, Practice, Practice. Once the maid of honor toast has been written, practice reading it out loud obsessively to up your comfort level on stage. On the day of the wedding, grab one of the bridesmaids and ask her for final feedback on delivery, jokes, and hand gestures. You’ll be grateful for the preperformance audience. Be sure to write out the complete speech (or transfer it to note cards) and bring the cheat sheet with you to the microphone (no, you don’t have to memorize). Emotions and nerves can catch even the coolest of cucumbers off guard.

If you are nervous the night before, use this energy to create an index card with the main points of your speech. Writing it down again will help you remember what to say and the index card will be handy while you are giving the speech.

Stay Calm, Cool, & Collected. Or at least fake it. No matter what, you’re going to be nervous. Take deep breaths. Think pleasant thoughts. Maybe have a glass of wine, but don’t overdo it. You definitely want to avoid that drunken honor attendant cliche. Remember, when it’s all over, you get to party hardy. Speak slowly, and no, no one’s going to care that your hands are shaking.

Don’t get drunk before your speech. Tranquilizers aren’t a good idea either. They will leave you with an inability to react to the situation.

Here are a few maid of honor toast ideas that may be helpful to you when writing your speech:

•  Stories of what the bride used to share with you about the groom when she first met him.
•  Funny story while growing up
•  How you and the bride met and how long you both have known each other
•  Most “appropriately” embarrassing moment you shared with the bride
•  How beautiful the bride and groom look together
•  Talk about a funny habit of the bride that the groom will have to live with
•  A spiritual statement (if the bride and groom are spiritual people)
•  Words of advice to both the bride and groom
•  Wishes you have for the newlyweds (e.g., success, happiness, many babies)